33 years old. 3 Decades + 3 years. What have I learned?

As I approach my 33rd birthday, I thought I would sit down and pen down some thoughts on what life has taught me thus far.

I’m grateful for the life I have been given. I have lived in different corners of the world, gone to private schools, have degrees from prestigious universities, have a supportive husband, caring family and friends all whilst living in a lovely condo in the heart of downtown Toronto. I’ve also worked in finance, tech, foreign services and have most recently started my own business. It must seem like I have it all — but let me tell you my life is not perfect. Nor is it for anyone else.

My key learnings —

• Expectations kill the joy of living. If you want to be happy, don’t expect, especially not from others. Our own happiness lives within us, it is a state of mind, not a result of having exactly what you want in life physically or otherwise. When we have expectations we are often let down. It is best to set ourselves up to do our best and hope for the desired outcome but expect nothing. That way whatever you achieve little or small is a positive and better than nothing!
• Focus on experiences not things. I was at the nails salon the other day and the girl was like “your birthday is coming I am sure you want your husband to buy you something nice!” I thought about it for a second and just grinned. In fact, I want nothing material this year. I have realized there is no end to shopping, my wardrobe is spilling over, things give you momentary pleasure and a simple life with fewer things feels so much less cluttered! As I grow up, I find experiences are so much more fulfilling and satisfying. A beautiful walk in the wildnerness or an evening exploring a new town or city are so much more memorable.
• Don’t compare. Instagram and Facebook photos of other people’s lives are but mere moments of show and are not representative of their seemingly perfect life story. Nobody posts arguments or being laid off from work on their social media accounts do they? Don’t measure your own life’s success by other people’s accomplishments. It isn’t fair to do so — we all have a unique set of challenges and backgrounds that we bring to the table and all we see is the tip of the iceberg in the form of results achieved by others.
• Focus inwards. The majority of our life till we are 30, when we actually have to grow up, seems to be outwards focused. We go to school, get good grades, play in sports teams, impress our parents, get a great job out of university but we spend little to no time on our inner well being because part of it is we don’t have or have to have that awareness. That little voice in our head only starts to wake us up to the greater purpose of life when the job doesn’t seem to fulfill us anymore, friends move on, dating apps suck and we don’t know where to focus our life.
• Mental health matters. As much as if not more than physical health. As someone who has always been driven by perfection, I have suffered from anxiety and OCD increasingly so over the past few years. We experience life through our minds and are able to be productive because of the amazing potential of our brains, which we cannot live without. So prioritize. Those of you who tell me you can’t meditate, it only means you need to meditate that much more. It is not easy for anyone but it really wakes you up to your inner self, your energy and how to achieve the best version of you.
• Associate with people who will help you achieve your true potential. Throughout life we meet many people — those who we grow up with, those we party with, have coffee chats and study with. Some of them stay in our lives, some of them go, some stay true friends, others change. As we all mature and our priorities change, stick to the people who are going to the same destination as you, not necessarily coming from the same past. Spend time with people who you aspire to be like. Who can help you learn. Who support you. Who motivate you to be better. Find mentors.
• Embrace Imprefection. That means there is no more perfect. I may have captured every point I wanted to in this post, I may have not. Progress over perfection!
• Be Patient. Through hardwork and perseverance things do slowly materialize. I have to remind myself that there is no such thing as overnight success and Rome was not built in a day. The media glorifies outcomes not the struggles.
• Practice Gratitude. By focusing on all that I have in my life over what I am striving to have, I am grateful and happy for my life the way it is. Life is a journey not a destination!

Here’s to many more years of reflection, self-improvement and accomplishment!